Farewell

You know as well as I do that I am bad about blogging on this. I'm good for a little bit, but then I get caught up in living, and I find that my pseudo life on the internet is really short lived; kind of like a firecracker. It gets lit, there's a lot of expectation, as the fuse gets closer and closer to the explosive powder, then... boom. And as the smoke clears, you realize that was a fairly short-lived five seconds. I fear that subconsciously I'm looking to be commended by my peers for my "insight into the Scriptures" and I've found that it's quite a thrill to get comments from others, even if they are from my fantastic girlfriend. And I don't want to overplay this, but for my own sake, I'm going to refrain from posting on this blog. I already do a lot on facebook, and I can post songs and videos on there much more easily than I can on here--not to mention that many more people traverse my facebook page than my little cubbyhole blog. David Bazan wrote it pretty well when he titled on of his albums "The Only Reason I Feel Secure... Is That I Am Validated By My Peers."

We've all been separated from God, but some of us have been reconnected. It's like the cord that got pulled too much and was yanked out of the socket. But then Jesus plugged us back in. Prophetic electronics. Some of us are blenders, some of us vacuum cleaners, some are night lights, others are radios. Some are floor fans, some are wireless internet hubs, and still others are alarm clocks. There really no end to the diversity of the Body of Christ. God will forever remain more creative than any of us, and that means that the diversity is only going to expand, in terms of where the Church spreads and reaches.

But back to what I was saying: this blog isn't thrilling enough for me to want to continue it. I created it originally for my parents and friends who I don't talk to on a daily basis, so that they could keep up with me and what I'm doing, learning, and thinking. Ironically, I keep many of my thoughts off of this website as I've been caught up in the cutting-edge of actual life beyond the internet. With the popularity of such programs like World of Warcraft and Second Life, I'm taking a stand against the perversion of the internet. I'm not condemning people who regularly blog (in fact my friend Steve maintains a very interesting, artsy, and blunt blog that I enjoy reading: Formula 2911 Blog), and I'm not condemning those who use the internet. The internet is an incredible resource and has without a doubt changed the world forever.

So I think that what I'm trying to say is that I feel that my life becomes increasingly sterile as internet use is increased, and definitely as my subconscious dependence on "facebook browsing" and youtube skate videos goes up. I feel a pressure to be clever and edgy, to be one more blog that bashes the Church but assures others that I do love them. I do love the Church, especially how much potential we have! And maybe that pressure is self-inflicted, but I want to be someone who stands out amongst Christians. Not just for my sake, but for the sake of Jesus--because He's so beautifully amazing, and I have been filled with such gladness and joy (despite the traps of life) that I want others to know how good knowing Him can be. To really enjoy everything God gives me (including but not limited to skateboarding, guitar/piano, and chemistry) to its fullest, because He gives us great gifts!

I actually feel closer to God when I'm skateboarding than in most musical worship services in Church. It's like God has handed me a blank check and everyday I withdraw more and more on His account. The same with guitar, and I won't even get started on chemistry.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you more in real life.